TSW ~ E.W. King: How to Win Your Students' Hearts

How to Win Your Students' Hearts

By Tonja K. Taylor

New Living Translation, Isaiah 54:13, says, "I will teach all your children, and they will enjoy great peace."

Kids are people too. Usually, they are more sensitive and forthright than most adults. They are the wonderful future, and through them, we have hope for a better world. We pray that, where we missed it, that they will succeed.

We understand more of the heart of Father God from the love we have for our dear kiddos. We will do just about anything to show our kids we love them, and we go to great lengths and sacrifice to give them the very best we can.

As teachers in school, online, or in volunteer situations, we can quickly connect and care for our dear students. They become "ours" as we invest time and effort into them. With the heart of Father God, we want the very best for them, just like our biological children.

Let us remember, also, that our own kids are our students 24/7, even when they become adults.

Whether you consider yourself a teacher or not, you are! We humans learn by emulating others, and by reading and hearing information. We are constantly being taught something, so it is very important what we see and hear.

Thus, for us teachers--and every person is influential in some way, over many more people than we may thing!--as Believers in Christ it is imperative that we follow The Teacher, the LORD Jesus Christ, as much as possible, by reading His Word, being around other Bible Believers who can encourage us, pray for us, and hold us accountable; praying; worshiping the LORD by being thankful and humbling ourselves to adore and depend on Him; by using our gifts and talents and other resources to expand His Kingdom; and by repenting--changing our minds and lifestyles--as He reveals things to us that are against His Word, and to align ourselves with what He wants.

Then we will be the best Examples possible to our students!

11 Command and teach these things. 12 Let no one despise your youth, but an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. 13 Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation, and to teaching.… I Timothy 4:11-13, Berean Study Bible

There are always many more people paying attention to our lives and affected by them than we may think!

With all that said, and while we never want to try to "perform" for other people, we want to be the best representatives for Christ that we can, in every situation.

God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ, not counting men’s trespasses against them. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 20 Therefore we are ambassadors for Christ, as though though God were making His appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ: Be reconciled to God. 21 God made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.…2 Corinthians 5:19-21, Berean Study Bible

So here are, with the Word of God as the basis for my life, a few tips to help you win your students' hearts--whether your own kids, students in a school, your church, community, or online:

(1) Smile and be warm, especially in the beginning. Anxiety tries to plague all of us, especially when we are encountering new situations and people. Your students (even your own kids) deeply long to please you. Although we can be very happy inside without even smiling, who does not like to see another smiling at them? Smiling at your students puts them at ease, and increases their confidence, even on a subconscious level. It promotes trust, and that is the foundation for positive, productive relationships.

(2) Be patient and encouraging. This should be the norm, but sometimes it's not. It all has to do with expectations. Our hope and expectation ultimately has to come from the LORD. While we are to have goals and standards and high expectations for our students, we must remember to be patient with them, and to celebrate even small successes. In addition, we need to be sensitive to our students' moods and expressions and tones of voice, and ask the LORD for wisdom to give them what they need, not only in our instruction of content, but in our emotional and mental relationships with them, through our words, our tones, our gestures, our facial expressions, etc.

Who among us does not like encouragement? Students need it daily, and while we shouldn't praise every moment, we need to do it often. The LORD will help us realize which students need more verbal encouragement than others.

(3) See each student as unique. This ties into encouragement, for different personalities receive encouragement in different ways. For some, it is being recognized or called upon to answer a question or demonstrate or tell something to the class, a type of leadership role. For another, it may be a quiet hug, or acknowledgement of a written word commending the student for making progress on something, especially if it was hard for them.

One powerful thing I did during the first day of school was to give each student an Interest Inventory. I had many questions on the paper, such as "What's your favorite food?" "Tell me about your family, please," and "What do you want to be when you grow up?" and, of course, "When is your birthday?" which I was sure to let the class sing to celebrate on whatever day a student had a birthday. I also gave each of them a special candy just for birthdays, and let them eat it in class. I kept these forms, looked over them, and would remember details that I'd bring up as the year progressed. We all like it when others, especially authority figures, take interest in our uniqueness.

in addition, when I decorated my bulletin boards in the room, I would dedicate one where I made sure I had each student's name listed. (They would certainly let me know if, out of all 90-or-so for the 9 weeks, I had missed one or misspelled their names!). One 9 weeks, the LORD gave me an idea to draw a huge piano out of brown paper (because I was teaching Piano Lab, which was such a rewarding experience, overall!), even though I didn't know how to draw a piano! But He did, and He guided my mind and hand. I put it on the board, with a bench, then He gave me the idea to put music notes floating up from the piano, with each student's name inside. They loved it, and so did I!

(4) Focus on the positive. Again, this is part of encouragement and relationship-buiding, which is the lifeblood of all positive relationships. One way to encourage your student(s) is to call their parents and brag on them--totally positive, not even mentioning anything negative--or to write a handwritten brag note. I did this with my 5 and 6 grade class one year, on various pieces of brightly-colored paper, at mid-year before the Christmas holidays. When I handed them out, I had not had time to finish all the notes. The students that received my handwritten notes were thrilled. However, some of them could not read my cursive, so I had to tell them "It's a brag note on you!" or print it. They were thrilled! The students that did not receive their brag notes that day were wondering where theirs were, and I assured them they would receive their brag notes the next day. I kept my word, of course! Those students and their parents were blessed tremendously by such a simple, quick thing!

(5) Sandwich negatives between the positives. When you must corect a student, especially if you need to call a parent, ask the LORD for help with your words, and to find something--anything--positive, to soften the "bad news." Almost all parents (or grandparents, because many grandparents are raising their grandchildren and are the responsible parties for the kids) are serious about their children doing well, and that includes right behavior. I have had a couple of parents that were rediculously and blatantly disrespectful, even to me in front of the kids, but those were exceptions, and may the LORD change their ways and help their kids to see (I've prayed!) that disrespect is wrong.

Trust the LORD to guide your conversations. Almost always, when I've had to meet with a parent about student behavior that needs to be corrected, the parent has been supportive of the correction, and even when they had a problem with it, the LORD would give me wisdom and understanding and right words, and the parent would quickly come around, and agree with me, and either make the student apologize or just discipline them at home. The LORD helps us!

(6) Let the kids see you be real. Tell the truth, and if you don't know something, don't pretend you do. Kids can spot a lie very easily! If you're tired, tell them, but spin it to a positive.

Also, I never tried to hide my faith, and if a student asked me something about God (which is a wonderful occurrence, and which the LORD will cause to happen often, in delightful ways!), I would tell them succinctly, let them know I appreciated their questions or comments, while letting them know I'd love to keep bragging on the LORD, but that we needed to get back to math (or whatever I was teaching).

(7) Let them be real, but keep the standards. If they are tired or mad or sad, acknowledge it, and if a student is having negative emotions going on, let that student stay in the classroom as much as possible. If a student kept making noise or doing other things that was preventing the class from learning, then I would put the student in a desk with work, right outside the door, where I could closely monitor them, and then continue teaching. Usually, the student outside the door, could hear everything I was saying, of course, so they were still getting actual instruction. The other students must see that, while you are compassionate and understanding, there are standards that must be kept. The other students deserve to learn even if one or two don't want to learn that day.

(8) Tell the students you love them. I would do this even for those acting out, although not always at that moment! Sometimes, I would say, "Robert (or whatever the name of the student), I love you, but your behavior is not acceptable right now. You are interrupting class, and the other students deserve to learn. If you cannot be quiet, you may sit outside with your workbook and chill. I will check on you in a minute," or something.

Once, I had a sixth grader blast me in front of the whole class. She was extremely rude and arrogant. Her attitude was so bad that, for a moment, I was stunned. The class was silent, and so was I for a bit. Then I quietly told her that she did not have the right to talk to me that way, that I would talk to her later about it, and that I did not have to explain to her why I had to be gone the next day. Then I continued to teach, while she sat there, stewing, and not paying attention, really.

I asked the LORD about it, and how to handle, this, for there'd been a "cold war" in her attitude for a couple of days, and I knew she could not properly learn in this state. He gave me the answer: She had abandonment issues. She had way overreacted when I'd told her that I was going to have to be gone the next day, and that there would be a sub. So, when I got the revelation from God, I walked up to her in the next class I had with her (after my trip, which was for state-mandated training), hugged her up close to me (and you can't do this with every student; you have to have the wisdom of the LORD!), looked her right in the eye, and said, "I love you (name of student), and we can't keep going like this. I apologize that I had to be gone, but it was mandatory training--the school told me I had to go, as part of this teaching job. You must have missed me. Anyway, does that make sense?"

Just me taking the time (in front of the class) to hug her up, be personal, explain, and such, caused her to melt in front of me and the class. We hugged, and this formerly brash and loud, rude student, became one of my devoted fans. After that, I'd see her across the school parking lot and such, and she'd wave her hand in the "love" sign and yell, "I love you Mrs. Taylor!" and I'd yell back, "I love you too!"

(9) Start and end every day with prayer, and remember to be thankful! One day, when all were gone and I was cleaning the piano lab room, I was tired and frustrated for various reasons. "THANK YOU LORD FOR THIS JOB!" I almost yelled "Are you sure?!" He asked me quietly. Then I realized I needed to adjust my heart, and truly be more thankful! Teaching in public school, even an elective like piano lab, is very demanding and can be frustrating and tiring. But, the LORD gives us grace. He gave me grace through that year, and helped me teach almost 350 middle school students how to successfully read, play, and perform piano music! Only He could have done that!

(10) Take advantage of whatever freedom you have to draw the kids to Christ in subtle ways. For instance, if the kids would ask me to pray for them, or suggest we pray for others, we would bow our heads and do it quickly. I also had the freedom (having a Christian principal helped, of course!) to integrate Christian piano music into the choices of songs I provided for them to choose from to learn. In addition, we did a study on various types of music, with a listeniing exercise, and an essay writing assignment on how various types of music made them feel, or what they thought of when they heard it. So I'd play short excerpts, or even entire songs, from Christian music, inspirational music, classical music, and things that weren't negative or angry. However, we did talk about how they felt when they listened to angry or sexual or other junky "music." That was a powerful way to plant seeds for godly living.

In addition, I had Scriptures posted in my office, and an inspirational quote about "The Master Musician" on my wall.

I believe these tips will help you to win your students' hearts and draw them to Christ, no matter the arena in which you teach. Also, ask the LORD, and He will show you even more ways to reach them! God bless you in your ministry as a teacher!

READ: Seven Laws to help you Understand Your Bible!